My Credo.

I’ve talked about doing this for years.  Robert Fulghum first suggested the idea to me probably 10 years ago - in his book 'Maybe (Maybe Not)' - capturing the essence of my beliefs at a point in time in one document.  I think it’s worthwhile because it requires me to think seriously about what I believe, but I think it’s dangerous because it suggests a static belief system.  But I believe in change and growth and development and life-long learning.  So everything here could change or develop.  But right now, today, it’s fairly close.

I believe that principles are the building blocks of a happy life.  We are all incredibly alike: we all have good and bad days.  The experience of joy and pain is remarkably similar for everyone, regardless of circumstance.  The thing that makes us different, more than education, ability, circumstance or anything else is the way we think.  Our thoughts, reactions and attitudes determine the way we handle life (or the way life handles us), and the course of life.

The way we think is hugely influenced from birth by our family, our friends, the books we read, the media we heed and the culture we follow.  So it follows that if we don’t consciously challenge what effect these stimulants have on our thinking, sub-consciously we become a product of these forces whether we actively engage with their ideals or not.  

This is usually a good thing.  There is great love in the world.  Mostly, our parents and teachers try to share ideas that will serve us well in life, usually in the form of timeless principles like honesty and fair play.  Obviously, however, not all influences on us are ultimately good.  Sometimes even well-meaning influences lack understanding and promote short-cuts or impulsive reactions instead of ideals.  So without actively questioning our influences, wherever they come from, and the subsequent impact on the way we think, we naturally become ‘wandering generalities’, blind acceptors of the way things are.  I believe real evil has its roots in the blind acceptance of the status quo.  We must question the way we think in order to grow and develop as human beings.  But what yardstick can we use to question our own thinking?  Especially when our thinking has developed from such a vast array of intimate influences in our lives?  After all, generally we have chosen to agree with these influences enough to internalise the ideas we hold.

The answer is principle.  Principles are universal and timeless.  They were true thousands of years ago and they are true today.  Principles are the cornerstone of the way we think, and it is the way we think that most determines the life we will have.

Before we go too far into principles, I must share a flaw I have felt in my own thinking as outlined above.  (As part of my belief in the questioning of my own thinking, it will be interesting to see how this ‘chink’ in the armour changes my entire Credo in future years).  If principles are so unquestionably the timeless building blocks of life, why after many thousands of years has not all of humanity naturally begun to accept principle to develop cohesive, balanced living?  I am not sure, but right now I think it’s because:

1. Human life span or paradigm shift theory; any generation that perfectly attuned itself to principle would only be 50 years from all being dead, and will have been replaced by a generation that has to learn it for itself.
2. Loneliness; human beings are social creatures.  If a newborn infant is given warmth and nourishment, but not physically held, the infant will die.  We all need others.  The warmth provided by bad relationships and influences is generally preferred to loneliness.
3. Human beings are naturally weak, lazy and indecisive, whilst principles are unforgiving, relentless and elusive, and therefore destined to be appreciated by only a minority of people, and really embraced by fewer still.
4. The 7 Deadly Sins; greed, lust, sloth, envy, rage, gluttony and pride.  These lead to the horrors of humanity (war, rape, slavery, pillaging, murder, torture, etc) which lead to the kind of environments where children don’t learn basic principles from loving parents and are therefore hindered from accepting a call to them later in life.

Therefore, I believe that the antithesis of principle in life is sin.  This credo is clearly not overtly religious – my faith is a constant struggle.  But this battle between principle and sin in my own heart is a real, active and raging one that I can personally attest to the difficulty in overcoming.  And I believe that there is one common bond between them.  They both employ our greatest human weakness, loneliness, as their chief recruiting agent.  Our entrance ticket into the halls of both parties is paid for by the love of someone who invites us to their bash. 

So if the common theme behind principle and sin is love, surely sin is not all bad.  I believe there is a different character of love involved.  The love of principle requires us to think of others.  But the love from sin is selfish and focused on the individual.

Therefore, it follows that graduation from ‘wandering generality’ to ‘meaningful specific’ is accompanied by the love of a personal invitation.  But such alumni do not share any moral impetus – the great evildoers of the world are ‘meaningful specifics’.  However, they do not accept deviation from their specificity.  And this is why Unconditional Love is my first principle.

Before I list the other principles that I believe in, allow me to define principle for the purposes of my Credo.  The strictest definition of a principle demands that it be truly timeless, as self-evident today as in centuries past, and universal, equally applicable in sport, politics, bricklaying and parenting.   I use a somewhat looser definition for principle, including not only the traditional kind but also ideals that reflect who I want to be as a man.  I recognise this has allowed me to avoid some difficult decisions, but also afforded me some levity in sharing them.

So these are my principles.  This is what I believe today.  It’s changed before, and I hope it changes again.  Because change in my belief system means that I am learning, that I am growing, and that I am alive.

1. Unconditional Love is the greatest force in the world.  Love your neighbour even when you don’t understand or agree with them.  Warmth and compassion are the genesis of all beautiful things. 
2. Mankind is hard-wired to fuck up.  The only way to get through life is to accept this in both yourself and the people you love.  Mistakes are not bad things…as long as they are viewed as bad things that should not happen again.  Which creates an intellectual loop, of course, and yet more proof that mankind is hard-wired to fuck up.
3. You can only control one thing in life, and that is your attitude.  Everything else is uncontrollable, and even your attitude is pretty hard to control sometimes.  But you can.  Even if sometimes a bad attitude is the right choice.  But generally speaking, a positive outlook is within your grasp and the right choice.
4. Never try to control uncontrollables.  Accept your situation.  Remember the prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
5. All events in life have a good and a bad side.  Sometimes the good side is really hard to see, and may not be known to you in your lifetime, but it is always there.  Seeing the good side in the thick of bad times is a real achievement.  Managing to see the bad side in good times can be pretty impressive, too.
6. Honour family.  Some special force in the universe has declared we have a sacred duty to care for our families throughout life.  Heed the call.
7. Serving others is a noble act and a form of love.  Genuine focus on serving others requires you to think about their needs above your own, which leaves no room for selfishness.
8. Don’t base decisions on fear.  Especially scary decisions.  Base decisions on principle first, desire second, fear never.
9. Hard work and toil are good for the soul.  And hard work is internally defined – if you aren’t exhausted at the end of it, it wasn’t hard work.
10. Commitment and schedule actually free you up to grow.  A fear of commitment and schedule shackles you with indecision and possibility.  Too many options and indecision are bad for the soul.  Commitment is freedom.
11. Sacrifice is growth.  By closing one door, whether you realise it or not, you open other doors, and just as many doors open from your ‘no’s as your ‘yes’s.  Like all the great ideas in life, it’s paradoxical, almost to the point where you might say paradox is truth.
12. Paradox is truth. 
13. Discipline is effortless.  Or at least it can be.  The only time it’s an effort is when the activity is not who you really are.  So become who you are meant to be, and you’ll find the discipline for it is effortless.
14. Live in the moment.  Be the ball.
15. Courage is the first of human qualities, because it is that which guarantees all the others.  (stolen from Winston Churchill)
16. Humility is next, as it allows others to be courageous.
17. Integrity speaks for itself.  Dismiss it at your peril.
18. I’d rather be a sucker than a cynic.  This is fairly personal, and hard to equate to a principle, but in such a cynical world it takes on greater significance.
19. Pain is normally a good thing.  It is the attempt to avoid pain that causes most unhappiness.
20. Ambition is a dangerous beast.  Ambition for yourself leads to loneliness, and loneliness leads to the dark side.  Ambition for ideals can lead to greatness, but this is interlaced with pride.  But a lack of ambition leads to laziness and becoming a ‘wandering generality’.  Ambition must be balanced with principle and humility.  The tightrope of ambition is a big reason why mankind is hard-wired to fuck up.
21. Wealth and money are perhaps the least effective paths to happiness.  But don’t let that stop you trying.
22. A sense of humour can get you through absolutely anything.  Except public transport.
23. The simple qualities of patience, thrift and temperance are all ones that I know about, and ideally I’d believe in them enough to exhort them on this list, but the simple weight of empirical evidence shows that these are just theories for me right now.  Maybe next time.
24. Being a good parent is about being a good example.
25. Sacrifice is freedom.

So that’s where I am right now.  I’m really excited about looking at this in several years and laughing at what I didn’t know back then.  I was tempted to just quote Rudyard Kipling’s “If…” as it’s the perfect poetic piece of principle ever written.  But that would have been lazy, and less fun.

            I wonder slightly how my internal definitions will stand the test of time.  Schedule is for me a very powerful idea, underlying the importance of habit and far more important than a cursory reading of this list implies.  Mostly we have little decisions in life, not big ones.  So the thoughts in, say, 3, 10 and 15 have played more regular roles for me than, say, 5, 6 and 12, which don’t come up every day.

            But they have all been critical to me at times in my life.  I hope I am able to continue to grow towards my understanding and appreciation of them, and that I’ll have the courage to amend them as life’s lessons teach me to do so.

NB.  Upon re-reading this, I feel compelled to offer an explanation of the declaration that real evil has its roots in the blind acceptance of the status quo.  I do not mean to promote anarchy or unwieldy scepticism.  The vast majority of the influences and systems in this world, in my belief, are good.  There is endless beauty in the world.  Perhaps related to this fortunate perspective, I’ve had precious little exposure to real evil, if any.  But I do believe that if we were all proactive guardians of considered and timeless ideals that evil would find less opportunity to grow.  Sometimes I think it’s the parent who’s unwilling to scold the child that isn’t their own who creates the vacuum.  Perhaps provocative behaviour sometimes invites its spoils.  This line of thought, however, stems from self-righteousness, which revokes my 1^st principle.  It is not my place in this world to judge.